First Look Inside

Saturday, December 3

Sure looks like there's a human in there!
The grape

Nine weeks. The last 3 days have been nausea-free. I so hope it’s the end of that stage. My boobs are still killing me, however, and I still have mucho gas and saliva filling my mouth. So gross. The only thing that makes that go away is to eat. Thankfully, I’m really good at that.

We got our ultrasound on Wednesday. Nine weeks and 3 days, they said, based on the size of the “grape.” But that’s not right, so that means my little lamb is bigger than normal. Oh man, please don’t let this mean I’m going to have a DH-brother- or father-sized baby. I just want a normal sized kid, please. No giants destroying my vagina, OK? The sonographer (a woman thank god) talked the whole time, even over the moment when we could hear the heartbeat. She was all, “You guys will have to decide if you want this test done and that test done and then there’s that test…” I was like, “Can you shut up, please? We’d like to have a moment here.” But the moment had all the warmth of a dentist appointment, as DH said. But the embryo moved for us. Freaky!

We had our first prenatal appointment on Thursday. The female doctor was older and no-nonsense and we really liked her. Not just because she gave the thumbs up on pretty much all our questions (coffee, baths, certain medicines, an occasional glass of wine…) She was great. Everything looks normal and healthy so far. Yay!

Our next decision has to be made fast. In the next two weeks, if we decide to do it, we have to have the CVS testing. I’m kind of scared of this. Invasive (they go through my cervix with a needle and take out a chunk of flesh next to the fetus!) and there’s a chance of miscarriage. How awful would it feel to have an optional test done that causes a miscarriage? Ugh. I can’t imagine. But DH and I really want to know – definitively – if our child has any chromosomal abnormalities. Knowledge is power.

Monday, December 5

After reading a million message boards and polling 3 mom friends (one who did it, two who chose not to), I think I’m pretty sure I don’t want to do the CVS test. It’s just too scary. Invasive, and I keep thinking that we’re just pressing our luck. We’ve been really lucky so far. Would taking a sample of flesh out of me next to the fetus (it’s officially a fetus!) be one greedy move too far? And we still have the option to do the first trimester screening now (ultrasound and bloodwork) and do the amnio later. I haven’t discussed this with DH yet, but I think I’m going to win this round. When he gets pregnant and wants to have a needle put through his cervix, he can. But this mom is chickening out.

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