Hurl, Sleep, Eat, Repeat

Saturday, November 12

Lentil Bean

Six weeks pregnant. So far, pregnancy is a lot like major PMS. Sore boobs, sore back, occasionaly tender womb feeling, massive cravings and poor food choices. Oh, except for something new: nausea. Every morning, I struggle not to hurl. I eat saltines and some diet soda immediately, which seems to help. But this week, I felt sick until lunchtime. Almost thought I was going to hurl in my cubicle at work. Fun for the whole work place! Weeeee…

I made my first two appointments for later this month — the ultrasound and first prenatal appointment. So happy that although I can’t get in to see my normal obgyn, there is another woman I can see. I was worried there would only be male options. I’m jut not ready for a strange man to shove his stuff up my hooha. Call me a prude — I don’t care. I hear that all sense of dignity/propriety goes out the window after you have a baby, so I cling to what I can now.

There is a new girl at work who has an 8-month-old baby and has to pump her breast milk at work. She uses the gym, which doesn’t even lock. And soon another coworker will be back from maternity leave. I’m happy that these two will set the norm for breastfeeding moms in the workplace. I pitched the idea of a mom room to the executive producer, but he didn’t seem to even hear me. Boys. They don’t give a shit.

So strange to think there’s another heartbeat in me already. According to BabyCenter.com: “This week’s major developments: The nose, mouth, and ears that you’ll spend so much time kissing in eight months are beginning to take shape. If you could see into your uterus, you’d find an oversize head and dark spots where your baby’s eyes and nostrils are starting to form. His emerging ears are marked by small depressions on the sides of the head, and his arms and legs by protruding buds. His heart is beating about 100 to 160 times a minute — almost twice as fast as yours — and blood is beginning to course through his body. His intestines are developing, and the bud of tissue that will give rise to his lungs has appeared. His pituitary gland is forming, as are the rest of his brain, muscles, and bones. Right now, your baby is a quarter of an inch long, about the size of a lentil bean.”

I’ve nicknamed him/her “Lamb.” As in Mary had a Little… My little lentil bean, Lamb.

Thursday, November 24
Thanksgiving

Kidney Bean

Eight weeks. Today I’m thankful for my wonderful husband (and his cooking skills) and the little Lamb. I’m 2 months along now, and thinking of calling my family and breaking the news. Yes, it’s early and 1 in 5 pregnancies fail in the first 3 months, but my parents are old and sharing good news on Thanksgiving would be fun. I’d also like to tell our friends that we’ve invited to dinner. And then tell them to not share the news because we haven’t told everyone yet. DH thinks that’s unfair. But the thing is, I don’t want the secret out on Facebook yet, which is where everyone learns of shit like this. I don’t want work to know yet, for one. I don’t know how I’ll be treated, so I want to wait until it’s more obvious, and I can announce it at a department meeting. Am I trying to control too much? We haven’t even had our first doctor’s appointment yet, so maybe we should keep our mouths shut a little longer, just to be safe? But it’d be so fun to share the good news today… I’m conflicted.

I’ve been lucky enough to gain a couple more symptoms/side effects. Now we’re up to: nausea, sore boobs, exhaustion (I can’t keep my eyes open past 9:00 anymore. Sometimes I pass out on the couch as early as 7. I’m such a Grandma!) gas (both directions), constipation and excess saliva. Oh, and my boobs are totally getting bigger. My nipples! Oh my! I’m already mourning the fact that I won’t recognize my boobs after breastfeeding, but I was unprepared for how quickly they change. I’ve always liked my breasts, small that they were. I’m not ready for giant jugs. Although it’s no surprise that DH is.

My best friend and SuperMom, L, brought over a ton of pregnancy and baby name books and pregnancy clothes for me. I picked out the Girlfriend’s Guide to Pregnancy and shoved all the big clothes in my closet. I’m going to stay in denial just a little bit longer, thank you very much.

One book told me that the first ultrasound, if it’s really early, will probably be done through a vagina wand instead of the belly thingamajiggy. Now I’m freaking out that some man will be the one performing the ultrasound and he’s going to want to stick something up in me. DH will be there with me, (and how weird will that be — in stirrups with my husband present) but I’m not ready for that. Please, please, please let it be the normal belly view, or else performed by a woman.

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