Tuesday, January 31
Seventeen weeks. Yesterday was the structural ultrasound and amniocentesis. An emotional rollercoaster kind of day. First, we met with our genetic counselor again, who basically said, “I don’t know why your doctor would recommend the amnio. The numbers look really good to me, but it’s up to you.” It’s a series of numbers, and she explained how a few were unusually high, which is a red flag for Downs, but most were good, so she’s pretty sure it’s nothing. We decided to do it anyway, just for peace of mind and signed the consent forms.
Then we get this really long ultrasound, where the technician was showing us everything and taking measurements of everything — the head, brain, heart, feet, etc. The whole time, I’m thinking, hurry up and find the genitals! The baby wouldn’t turn their face, so most of the images are of he/she looking the other way. Then finally, the technician freezes the image and says “Congratulations – that is definitely a girl.” We were all happy, and smiley and weepy …
And then the doc comes in and says she sees something with the heart that might be nothing, but wants to take another look, and ‘Oh, here we have another fibroid …’ and our stomach plummets some more as we hear maybe scary stuff, but maybe not. (The heart thing is probably nothing, but something we’ll have to keep an eye on.) Then she tells us about the amnio and how it can cause a miscarriage — although pretty rare. So, again with the nerves. Ugh. Then she prints more pics for us and tells us good things about what she sees… it was like UP and DOWN and UP again. I was so ready to get out of there! Although the docs at the Cedars Sinai Prenatal Dianostic Center are really terrific.
The amnio hurt more than I expected. It was a pressure/cramping pain, but thankfully, it was brief. The baby stayed over on one side of the uterus, while they poked the other. There was some intial cramps when we were walking to the car and again to lunch, but nothing alarming. I got back into my jammies and sacked out on the couch as soon as I got home. I’m taking my second day off today, following doctor’s orders, but I feel OK.
In 10 to 14 days, we’ll hear the results of the amnio. We’ll know for sure if she has Downs, and there will be great relief when we hear that she’s fine. Because she will be. I know it.
I knew all along it was a girl. I could just feel it. I dreamed about a girl, and it was who I pictured in my head. Although I did think it could just be because everyone we know right now is having a girl. And I did have a bit of guilt. What if it’s a boy and the whole time I thought it was a girl? What does that say about me as a mom? But I was right. I’m beyond thrilled. It wouldn’t have mattered which one we got this time around, but I’m excited about raising a daughter.
I told DH on the drive home his job as a father is to be close to her, to show her affection, to do everything my father didn’t. And teach her about boys. If she knows her Daddy loves her, she won’t listen to the stupid boys who come around, whispering in her ear about how much they love her. She’ll know what real love and affection is from a man, and she’ll hold out for a quality gentleman. She won’t end up a pregnant teenager because all she wanted was attention from a man. She’ll have had that attention from her father and will know real love.
I can’t wait to see him wrapped around her little finger. He’s going to be amazing.