Movin’ on Down

38 weeks, 6 days.

Had my first cervical check. I was nervous because a favorite blogger of mine called it “The Awful.” But I’m happy to report that I didn’t feel a thing.

I’m 50 percent effaced, 0 dialation, -1 station and the baby is in midline position. What does all that mean? It means I’m making good progress, the baby has dropped a little and is lined up with my cervix correctly, but there’s nothing to get excited about yet. Still, my midwife seemed happy, so yay!

Baby girl is at -1.

She pushed my due date back to July 7. It’s so funny how it changes all the time. The only reason it matters is when determining I’m overdue. She decided July 14 will be the key date and recommends that we get post-date testing done by our backup doctor around the 12th. That’s to take a look at the amount of fluid around the baby, seeing how her heart rate reacts when she moves and stuff like that. If our backup doctor doesn’t like what he sees, that’s when we start considering things like “stripping of membranes” (heard it’s awful) and “castor oil smoothies” (yuck) to possibly stimulate contractions and get things started. I’m not really interested in any of that, but talk to me in two weeks.

It doesn’t matter anyway because baby girl is going to be ready to make her appearance before then. You heard it here first! (Working on my positive attitude. A recent motto of mine is “Pain don’t hurt,” ala Patrick Swayze is one of the best movies ever, Road House.)

Walking has become an obvious waddle. Sleep… well, you already know. Last night, I woke up because baby girl got the hiccups. She gets them at least once a day. They feel a little like an annoying twitching muscle. It just didn’t feel right to continue to lie on my left side while she was over there, hiccuping. So I got up and walked around, drank some water and rested on the couch for a bit. I eventually feel asleep and spent three hours on the couch, before making it back to our bed. Giving DH a snore-free break is good for both of us.

In the meantime, I can’t stop reading birth stories. I bet I’ve read a hundred of them. Some are beautiful. Some are horrifying. I wonder which end of the spectrum mine will fall…

I’ve become a bit distracted by the episiotomy/natural tears part of it all. I’ve been a bad hypnobirther and haven’t done any perineal massage. It involves having your partner using two fingers to stretch you out a little down there. Using a U-shaped motion, he’s supposed to apply pressure to the lower vaginal wall for five minutes a day. This stretches the tissue and teaches you to relax, resulting in less resistance to the birth of the baby and less need to cut/tear. I guess it gets you used to the “ring of fire” that everyone talks about during birth. I just couldn’t get into it. Maybe it’s my prudish midwest roots, but asking DH to stretch me out just didn’t sound fun. I mean, make no mistake, I don’t want anything going in there, even if it was in a romantic setting. And it couldn’t feel more unromantic. So, I guess we’ll just have to take whatever comes from a too-tight hoo-haw.

Preggo tip: There are apparently four degrees of parineal tears. Do not google them. Holy buckets, that was a mistake. Don’t be an idiot like me! Do. Not. Do. It. I almost fainted.

One thought on “Movin’ on Down

  1. Tearing brings a response out of me that I feel is similar to when guys hear about some other guy getting his parts stomped on with cleats. SO SCARED OF IT. And I’m with you on the “Hey husband, stretch out my vagina, please” issue. I am so not there in my marriage.

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