Thankful

Perspective. I have this word taped to my cubicle wall at work. Trying to change mine. I spend a lot of time focusing on the negative. I don’t know why, as I’ve got a pretty wonderful thing going here. I’ve always been a glass half-empty kind of girl. But I need to work on that and appreciate my life; be thankful.

I have the most beautiful, sweet baby girl who is 20 weeks old. I have a wonderful husband. We have a nice rental roof over our heads. I have a job. Life is good.

I just caught up on an old friend’s blog. She was dealing with infertility before she had her baby girl by IVF. That was a few years ago. And apparently they were struggling with IVF rounds 2 and 3, which ended in miscarriage. She’s a beautiful writer who put into words how agonizing it is to try so hard, spend so much money and have your hopes up so high and then have it all come crashing down. That is some tough shit. Now they are 5 months pregnant with twins, and things seemed to be going well … until recently, when she was told that there was an indicator during an ultrasound that one of the babies could have Downs. Ugh.

I’m so fucking lucky. While I bitched and moaned about how annoying pregnancy was, someone was losing their baby. While I was whining about the loss of my birth plan and how disappointing C’s birth was, someone was losing their second baby. While I lamented the fact that I wasn’t making enough milk, someone was finding out scary news about their unborn child. And it goes on…. Someone had their two children swept out of their arms while trying to find shelter during Hurricane Sandy. Someone died because they were having a miscarriage and the hospital wouldn’t give her a D&C because they didn’t believe in abortion. A parade float carrying multiple veterans got hit by a train. I mean, I just … I can’t fathom that shit. We live in a shitty fucking world sometimes. And I’m grateful for how good I have it.

Thank you, DH, for being the positive to my negative. For putting up with my grumbles and always showing me the good side. For cooking the turkey. For taking care of the spiders. For making our little girl laugh. You are a huge blessing in my life.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. Give your kiddies extra kisses. Take a moment and tell your spouse why you love them. Call that family member you haven’t talked to in a long time and say hello. Give a dollar to that homeless person on the corner. Be kind to one another.

You can go throw up now. I’ll be back to my bitchin’ in no time.

Dear C,

You’ve started trying to eat your toes. There is nothing cuter in the world. You put your tongue on your big toe and then make this face like you just ate a toe. It’s hilarious. You like to put your hands our faces and explore. When you do, you breathe faster and making little “oo oohh” noises. You suck on your lower lip and make this cute spitting noise. You’re enamoured of the bird mobile your father hung in your nursery. You curl up on your left side to sleep and turn your face into the mattress. You are so freakin’ adorable, we cannot stop smiling. Love, Mom

One thought on “Thankful

  1. I so understand and relate to this post. We are incredibly blessed and it’s vital to recognize all of the good things we can be grateful for. It’s okay to kvetch, it gets me through most days and truly does make me feel better, but it definitely is important to keep perspective.

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